It's been a while.

It's been about ten months since I last wrote on here. This week is midterm week. I feel like I'm barely staying afloat and I am really looking forward to graduation--just to have free time. I haven't hiked in weeks (which is saying a lot for me). I'm having a too-busy week. I can't focus. Ugh. It's weeks like these (though few and far between) that make school (and thinking about the future) harder... in an emotional, self-doubting way.

It's Wednesday night. After hours of editing a piece I wrote last year about counseling centers and writing centers (for senior seminar, to submit to Writing Lab Newsletter's Tutor Column), I decided to read my old blog. And I'm so very glad I did. It made me remember why I started all of this in the first place, remember my first consultations, and remember where my passion lies. My old entries (especially the first time I worked in the Center and the first consultation I had) made me cry. I'm so glad Melissa had us keep these blogs. I know she said we'd cherish them, but only now do I realize that I truly do.

I have about two months left until I graduate and then apply for the graduate program. I talked to Meghan Carlin (a 303er) today about that. She said she was sad I will be leaving. But I assured her it'll only be temporary because I know I'll miss it... like I did this summer. I wrote about the "writing center bug" in one of my posts. I'm happy to report that I still have that, over a year later. I just can't imagine leaving this place for good.

I guess my whole point is that reading this blog again was exactly what I needed this week... to keep me going! I love the Writing Center, I love teaching writing, and I'm right where I want to be. Wow, what an awesome thing to realize. I'm a lucky girl.

One semester in the Center down; many more to go

As we near the end of the semester, I find myself doing a lot of reflection. I remember the very first time all of us met as a group back in August, right before I went to climb Mount Borah! I remember planning way ahead for that meeting, because the Writing Center has been important to me for a long time. I even planned my Borah trip around the meeting. Still, I had no idea just how much it would affect me.

I wrote about this for my internship reflection, but I’ll reiterate it here. My work in the Center has changed my life—that is no exaggeration! I was by no means directionless prior to working in the Center, but now, I have a new direction that just feels RIGHT! I am comfortable with it, but I know I will be challenged as well. I feel at home with the English department now, as if I’ve really made the right choices: I became an English major and stuck with it and applied for this job at the Writing Center. The work I’ve done in the Center thus far has been hard and confusing at times, but more often, it has been rewarding and wonderful! I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do after I graduate and had a half-baked plan to teach abroad for a while until I figured out what I wanted to do. But now that I’ve found my niche, I know I need to ride this wave for a while. I love being at a university now that I’m involved in my department. I am actually excited to continue with my education after I get my bachelor’s degree, instead of craving a well-deserved break from school. So I’ve decided I’m going to apply for graduate school next semester, to begin grad school in Fall 2011.

This brings me to my next point—Melissa! I know you will read this, so I just wanted to thank you a hundred times for all you’ve done this semester. You are enthusiastic, compassionate, and organized, and it is absolutely contagious! I look up to you quite a bit—more than you realize! You partially inspired my “new direction” in life (or at least my academic life). :) Our next director will have big shoes to fill thanks to Mike, but also thanks to you! You have set the standards very high. You’ve accomplished so much, and I really appreciate the conversations and guidance you’ve given to me about writing center work as well as graduate school advice, etc. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaking of awesome people… I often wonder how it is that I found so many awesome people within such a small place (our Center). Maybe it’s just an English major thing… :) but I truly enjoy the company of my coworkers—we talk and laugh, but get down to business when necessary.

This job has brought be so many wonderful things. The people, the teachers, a closer link to the English department, the tutoring experience, more familiarity with the writing process, the magic and beauty of consultations, as well as the opportunity to take part in the Fellyn program, (soon to be AKA: Writing Mentor program)… all of these wonderful things are part of my life now, and I am forever grateful. I have never been so thoroughly happy with my school and work situation. I am getting a little bit choked up now, just writing about it. Life is very good.

This is my last journal entry of this semester, and today, I worked my last few hours of this semester in the Center. As I said to Jenny, Eric, and Phil as I left the Center, it was a bittersweet day. But I still have a year left—my glorious senior year!—until I graduate. And even then, I have a feeling I will be back.

Nothing is perfect, right? I’m sure this writing center deal isn’t perfect, but it certainly feels close.

Dear Writing Center, and all those involved, thank you for everything!

Community

This idea of community is really striking a chord with me lately. I walked into the Center today at an abnormal hour for me, because I had an exam and got out of one of my classes really early. I went to the Center because, well, where else would I go? I could have wondered around the ILC until I found a spot to sit and pretend to be doing something productive, but that didn’t even occur to me, because I have a home on campus now: the Writing Center!

Everyone I work with has been friendly. Going into the Center at odd hours was an awesome experience for me, because I got to see people I don’t normally see. And, not surprisingly, these people were also very friendly. I just love the sense of community the Center provides. It has definitely given me direction, not just as far as graduating and getting done with my bachelor’s degree, but with my life as a whole. I have learned so much from this experience already, and I’m nowhere near being done here. On top of all that, I’ve met some amazing people that truly care about writing—theirs and others. They also care about me, and I care about them. And on a less serious note, I have a break room now… which somehow represents that this job is serious and the people who are employed by it are close knit enough to share a break room. Maybe it’s silly, but I thoroughly enjoy that tiny room! This job has actually made me partially wish that I wasn’t going to graduate so soon. (Not until December 2010, but still close.)

Our writing center community is not just for the consultants, though. Something really cool happened a while ago on Facebook… ugh, Facebook. Anyway, one of my friends had set his status to be something like “Stuck in the library writing a paper all day. Why can’t writing be easy?” and one of his friends commented on it, saying that there is “this great resource on campus that you can take your paper to” but she couldn’t remember the name. I didn’t assume that she was talking about the Center, but I also commented on my friend’s status, suggesting that he come into the Center. Then, the same friend that commented before I did commented again, saying “YES! That’s it! The Writing Center! The best resource BSU has to offer.” WOW! I was thrilled! So not only are we leaving lasting impressions with the people who work in the Center, but also with graduates that value our service so much! We clearly made them feel welcome enough to return and to appreciate what we have to offer. This Facebook event was just too cool!

As much as I loved the conversation we had tonight about community in writing centers, the mood shifted when Melissa started talking about her “oasis” idea, because of the guy, (what was his name?) who opened up the conference with a story of a student who used his writing center, but clearly it wasn’t an oasis for him, because he went crazy and shot people on campus. This totally shifted the mood of our class tonight; I sat straight up in my chair, at the edge of my seat. (Melissa, I am really bummed for you that he came and rained on your parade like that, by the way. But I’m sure he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t feel it had some value, right? Besides, I firmly believe our beliefs are strengthened or at least further developed in the face of adversity.) This is so unfortunate; it just plain sucks. But I have to believe that this particular student DID benefit from his writing center in some way. Perhaps he would have reached his tipping point sooner. Maybe his writing center gave him hope for a little while longer. Ultimately it was not enough, nor should a writing center be expected to be, but I have no doubts that it did help him. Maybe I’m too optimistic, but I just have to believe that.

 I can’t help but draw a conclusion to M.D. I have not consulted with her, and honestly, I’m scared to. But part of me wants to reach out to her. Silly me, I kind of think I could help. It’s probably beyond me. I guess all we can do is hope she gets the help she needs. Some people have bigger demons than others...

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Plato

Shaken up

Last night in class, we talked about basic writers, and Justin brought up a catalytic point. He said that working with basic writers is great because they possess a raw talent that hasn’t been tapped, and that they aren’t “bored” with their writing yet. Melissa expanded on that point, bringing in her experiences of teaching English 90, 101, and 102. She told us about how hard it is to fail a student who tries their hardest to pass, but just isn’t up to standards. She told us stories of her beginnings as a teacher, feeling overwhelmed by her students’ first papers, and then being blown away by their improvement in the second round of papers. The entire time, I was hanging on Melissa’s every word. For some reason, these stories sparked something inside of me. I have this plan, (that I thought was perfect), to graduate from BSU with my English degree, then travel somewhere to get my TESL certificate, then travel elsewhere to teach abroad for a while, and then eventually return to the states to get a Masters degree in Counseling. But ever since last night, I think I want to be a professor… and teach basic writers the invaluable skill of writing. I feel a little shaken up today, because all this time, I didn’t think I wanted to teach in America. Now, after hearing Melissa’s stories, I’m rethinking everything!

It was odd: as my brain was processing this realization, I resisted it. I didn’t want to reconsider my plans, and I didn’t want to be pulled into this world of teaching composition, because I thought I knew what world I wanted to be in. Now I’m wondering what to do and how to do it all over again. I think I still want to teach abroad, but what after that? I’m lost again, and it kind of feels good… exciting! So, Melissa, thank you for your enthusiasm. You are a refreshing teacher that seems to look at and express things differently, and perhaps that is what I needed to point me in the right direction.

Okay, now onto other things. This week, I had five more consultations. I will have more on Saturday, because I’m working for three hours to fill in for another consultant. That much closer to being paid for this, which will be nice, even if it’s not much! I had a consultation with a sweet lady who immediately told me that she hadn’t written an essay for 17 years- wow! She was very open to suggestions and willing to learn. It was an enjoyable consultation. She reminded me of my aunt, and that’s a good thing. I have had other consultations with non-traditional students, but this one was my favorite so far.

I also had several required visits, inevitably. Both were first-year, stereotypical guys 100-level classes. Except one was engaged and excited to be there, and the other sat back, slouched in his chair. It was all I could do to get the latter student to stay for a full 15 minutes. I searched and searched for useful information in his mind for brainstorming, and I think I helped a little bit. But honestly, he didn’t want to be there. I did get him to smile and laugh a few times so at least we were on the same page about something. I hope he has a better opinion of the Center after that visit.

I also had my first “repeat customer”. We had a brainstorming consultation that was very fun. I got to help her think of ways to approach an environmental research paper, which of course I’m interested in. She’s going to bring it into me when she has some of it written. I love that I can see her progress with the essay, and I love that we are actually establishing a personal relationship, kind of like the Fannie reading we had this week for class. I’m envious of those who get to develop a personal connection with their students and I’m stoked that I am beginning to!

One last thing about learning disabilities: this Michael character made an appointment with me for next Thursday. It’ll be my first time working with him. After last night’s class, I can’t wait to work with him! I had no idea what his situation was and am grateful that Andrea brought it up last night.

Happy Halloween everyone!

E-mails, editing, repeats, and bios

This week in class, we talked about e-mail consultations. I’m really excited to get started with e-mails. I have a feeling that it’ll be something I easily take to. My best friend, Lisa, lives in Florida, and she frequently sends me things that she writes. (She is a Creative Writing major at University of Central Florida). So I have gotten in the habit of doing a sort of e-mail consultation, at least with Lisa. But because I only spend four hours a week in the Center, I don’t want to do too many- maybe one a week. Otherwise, I’m sure I’d miss the face-to-face interaction that e-mails can’t provide. Anyway, I think I’ll probably be the type of e-mail consultant that uses smiley faces. :) :) :)

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about editing as a potential career. I think I might like being a magazine editor. These are all relatively new thoughts, but I can’t help but draw comparisons to the work I do in the Center. It is the same idea in many ways: helping improve writing and develop ideas for an intended audience. But it’s different in that I think editing is less-collaborative. Not that I know for sure, but I view editing as a more linear process: a writer turns in an article to an editor, who corrects and edits it to prepare it for publication. There is less back and forth, less interaction, less conversation. Am I off-base about this?

This editing thing gives me another potential article topic for later in the semester. Is there much written about this connection? Do writing center consultants often end up as editors? Or is it disappointing to them because the interaction factor is missing?

An unrelated concern: we are reading so much writing center literature; it is almost overwhelming, because we are supposed to come up with our own ideas based on all of these readings, and our own observations and experiences. (For the articles we write, and our consulting philosophy). I guess I just worry that since there is so much out there, that we can’t necessarily contribute new ideas to the conversation. And what if we think they’re new ideas, but they’re not?

This week in the Center, I had a consultation with a graduate student who was writing a journal abstract. She asked to set up another appointment with me for next week to brainstorm ideas for an environmental paper she is going to write about feedlots. That means I will be getting my first repeat! I was looking forward to this a lot. Not only do I get to establish more of a relationship with this student, but this also means that I must be doing something right. It’s nice to have that extra reassurance!

Oh, somewhat related to this: I had two consultations this week that answered a question I have had for several weeks now. I wondered if many people actually read our little bios that we have on the online scheduler. I included in mine that I am pursuing an Environmental Studies minor, in hopes that I’d attract environmental papers. And so far, it’s worked twice, to my knowledge. Very cool.

Yet another productive week in the Center!

Halfway

Halfway through the semester now!  Yikes.  I guess if we made it this far, we can make it through the rest!  This week, I don’t have any specific topic I want to write about, just some random thoughts.

I had a consultation this week with a guy who was about to graduate with an Environmental Biology degree.  He was applying for a job with a mining company in Challis, Idaho.  He brought in a resume and wanted my opinion.  He wanted to know what formats he should use, (he didn’t like the current one), and how he could make it more professional.  I was a little worried about this consultation when I saw it on the schedule, (“resume” was all he had given me to anticipate), simply because I don’t want to give faulty advice about something so crucial.  I was happy to discover that the company requirements for the resume were very lenient.  I recommended that he go to Microsoft Office Online to search through their resume templates, and we discussed ways to make his resume more professional, all of which came very easily to me.  I really enjoyed this consultation.  It makes me wonder, though, if this is where people should be bringing their resumes.  I thought that was more for the Career Center than for us.  (Not that I’m complaining!  I liked it.)

I had a consultation with a girl in Christi Nogle’s English 102 class.  I also took English 102 with Christi, so I was familiar with the assignment.  She had written a paper about the conspiracies of 9-11.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get to read the entire essay- I am interested in her topic.  However, this consultation ended up being one of my favorites out of the 14 I have done so far.  (I’m trying to keep track as long as I can!)  We went through and read her essay for clarity and talked about a few minor grammar things, like “is” versus “are”.  (She had brought in some purple beads that someone was handing out on campus.  I pointed to them and said, “this bead IS” and “these beads ARE”.  I think she will probably refer to the bead memory when she is unsure about is/are!)  I taught her a few tricks, and provided her with the punctuation handout, (my favorite).  At the end of the consultation, she told me that I helped her a lot, more than other consultants have.  She said that I “actually taught” her things.  WOW!!!  I was elated!  It seems rare that we get that sort of direct feedback from our students, and I told her how much I appreciated hearing it.

I had my first hour-long consultation this week, with an ESL student from Turkey.  (Actually, English is his third language- Turkish was first, and he is also learning Russian.)  I was a little intimidated by the hour-long consultations, because the one that I observed seemed challenging.  However, the hour was up before I knew it.  We didn’t quite make it through his five-page essay for Management 301.  He had only been learning English for four years, and he had a lot to work on.  There were times I was slightly frustrated with myself for not being able to think of a way to explain a grammar “rule” on the spot.  I want to get better at that- desperately!  A few things I think I did well, though: I asked questions about his English language background, I asked how his day was going at the beginning, I was naturally patient (like so many of our readings this week recommend), and I tried to encourage him with little stars on parts of his paper that I liked.  I thought this was really interesting, and I’ll probably always remember it: the first star I drew, (next to a great transition), he got really excited about it and said, “Yes! A star!”  After that, I remembered all that we have been reading about the importance of encouragement in ESL consultations, and I made it a point to draw more stars on parts of his paper that were good.  I drew stars next to places that he used colons correctly, (because he messed up on one earlier), next to especially well-written sentences, and places were he was consistent with his past-tense writing style.  In the end, he ended up with eight stars!  And he had counted the entire way through!  It left an impression on me- just how much encouragement really matters.  I always try to be encouraging, (because, as I have said before, the last thing I want is to discourage anyone from writing), but I was initially more cautious during that consultation, simply because I wasn’t sure what his expectations were.  He seemed the type that wanted to get down to business.  But as the consultation progressed, I was able to get to know him better.  It’s magical!

Ahhhh… I love the Writing Center!  As a writer, I do not like the idea that something can be inexpressible through words, but honestly, I’m having a hard time explaining just how much I love the work I am doing in the Center.  Melissa, you mentioned in class that if this isn’t the work for us, we are under no obligation to keep going with it next semester.  That’s crazy talk!  I love it.

Okay, the end.

Consultation philosophy ideas

                                                    
Last Friday at our meeting, all of the veteran consultants talked briefly about the papers they wrote for English 303.  Melissa wanted them to tell us 303ers so that we could start thinking about what we might want to write about.  I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now.  I know I still have a lot to learn and experience before I have anything close to a "consulting philosophy", but I can already tell I am forming opinions and making observations that could very well lead to some sort of larger piece of writing.  I have had ten consultations now, and I have spent hours talking about and thinking about many things having to do with writing centers.  So now I have four ideas that I want to write about and get some feedback about.

1.  Years ago, before I had even started the interview process to become a consultant, working with ESL students really intrigued me.  Maybe this is because I an enamored with travel, and dealing with people from far-away places seems relevant.  Anyway, now that I have had two consultations with ESL students, I have learned that I do indeed love to work with ESL students, but also that it is very challenging!  It amazes me how many differences there are between learning English as a native speaker and learning it as a foreign language.  This fascinates me.  I want to teach abroad after I graduate, so I am thinking that maybe it'd be a good idea to focus on ESL consultations for the larger pieces of writing I will be doing in English 303.  I am a little hesitant though; there is so much information for this topic that I already feel overwhelmed by it, and might want to choose a topic that is a little less researched or "cliché".

2.  Another thing I am considering doing after I graduate and after teaching abroad is to go to graduate school for a counseling degree.  I have wanted to be a high school counselor ever since I can remember.  As I get more and more into these writing center consultations, I am seeing many similarities to counseling.  The critical need for personalization within a consultation, active listening, and the idea that every person is different and different strategies will work for different people... all of it seems very related.  I have noticed that I sometimes desire more conversation about feelings, emotions, etc. during a writing conversation.  I sometimes want to ask more about things that won't necessarily contribute to a good writing session.  Don't get me wrong, I definitely talk to students about these things, but not as much as I would in a counseling session.  This natural knack helps me lean even more towards the counseling path.  So I am considering exploring this link further, and I am curious if there is information about the writing center consultation/counseling link...?

3.  I know some of the veterans wrote about writing center metaphors.  The quote "give a man a fish, he eats for a day; teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime" resonates with me pretty much every day I am in the Center.  "Give a student a paper, he writes for a day.  Teach a student to write, he writes for a lifetime."... or something like that.  I am contemplating developing this idea further.

4.  The "person analogy" is something that sort of came out of thin air during one of my consultations.  I was trying to explain that you often shouldn't write an introduction until after you've written the other parts of a paper because "you can't introduce someone you don't know".  Then, in a consultation the next day, I pulled more out of thin air and ran with it.  I used the "person analogy" to explain the entire organization of a paper.  I said that the introduction was like saying, "Here is April.  She likes to be outside.  She has blonde hair and blue eyes."  The following paragraphs can include "research about April" or "interviews with experts (friends) about April".  You can explain "why should I care about April".  And then, you can "form your opinion about April".  The paper is a person.  What do you think?  It seemed to help a lot in the two consultations I have used it in, and I am thinking about developing it further.

Alright... there are my four ideas!  I hope they get you thinking like they have for me!